Faith Shaped Hole

faithshapedhole @ 2008-09-07T23:23:00

2008-09-08T03:30:20Z

what the fuck

most of you know my car was stolen recently.... now it looks like the kid who stole it isn't the only law suit I'll have

why do jobs like insurance exist>? they should just be called pay us to low ball and screw you

im falling behind in school with all this stuff too i have never felt more stressed out... i don't know what i would do if i didn't have David, he's the only thing keeping me from madness.

we got all the stuff in order with the new place and looked at bedroom sets today... He gives me something to smile about at least. Though I ant help but feel guilty having him go through this with me... He always says "we" will get through this... but the last 2 weeks i wish he didnt have to.

He has spent so much time helping me go through paper work and legal docs, finding a new car (which is impossible when they refuse to give me the # of what i will be getting in settlement) getting work done in between... i guess trauma sadly is an indicator of how strong your relationship really is...

At least i'm lucky enough to have enough love, support and strength in my life to get through this.

Message of angst

2008-08-19T03:10:39Z

This kid i used to know died 3 days ago...

I have no clue how to feel but i cried a lot and i cant stop thinking it could have been me

classes start soon, i am welcoming the distraction. It seems Dave's going to have to go to CT the week were supposed to move. Not actually an inconvenience and easily fixed, but i am somewhat annoyed about it tonight... I R all sneezy tonight too, allergies suck

/Sigh

its been like 2 straight months with out tragedy, why is this all bothering me so much?

This message of angst brought to you by the letters B-L-E-H

on a lighter note 2 couples i know recently got engaged. One thats been dating less time than Dave and I... I felt a lil judgmental till i realized Dave and i have been living together for almost 8 months... yup.. lost that debate.

I think i'm just ready to be moving on again... Just one year left then we are moving to Albany. Even have a few great houses in mind we liked. I feel like this past month i have been standing still... It was hard...but working so much early on at least i felt really accomplished, working full time at CDHS i feel accomplished if i manage to find work to do heh. (they over staff in the summer not enough work to go around)

Realistically things are pretty much perfect i dont honestly have anything to complain about, other than allergies and being cranky tonight for the first time in a while.

Things with Dave keep surpassing any concept of how amazing things could be. We have certainly become the sickeningly perfect couple..Mel likes to yell at me about it... she thinks Dave and Ben need to spend some time together in BF Training.

ok..enough babbling.

Productive huh

18 credit semester ahead + Independent study (still waiting on numbers but i cant believe i got a grant) + Field placement + work

"do you know what happened to the boy who suddenly got everything he ever wanted...He lived Happily ever after"

-F

Laterz

2008-07-31T11:51:21Z

Been having trouble sleeping lately... I keep waking up between 4-6 am and can't fall back to bed

David and I are leaving tonight for vacation, a well needed one. This release has been stressing him out a bunch. A week with out being Douged will do him some good.

We are set to Jump 10 am Monday morning so wish us Luck !

D is really excited about it, i just cant wait for that free fall... best feeling ever!!!!!!!!! I haven't felt anything like it before in my life... I wish i could afford to jump twice a week heh

Work has been tedious. I have training on a new Ilinc system today... at least it's not doing finance paperwork or whatever odd job they find... they simply have too many people working full time right now.

I have had to start drinking coffee in the mornings, most of you know how much i hate that heh

David's still in bed... i wish i could be asleep... /sigh

We have found a lot of great houses though, thinking about looking at some of them on our way back up state. We will be spending tonight at his parents. I look forward to seeing his mom and dad.

ok (Yawn) Guess i should finish packing.

See ya in a week

Slice of me

2008-07-28T18:33:25Z

Sometimes I realize I make a difference.

I want to call every good teacher and positive influence and thank them, and today I did thank a few.

Sometimes I get just the confirmation I need to know I am exactly where I want to be and I get the feeling I deserve it.

I realize I am finally starting to get back all I have given for 22 years, and how much of a beginning this still is.

I am who I want to be, and I am proud of who that is.

I can see a future now because I am getting closer, not because I need to escape the present.

I just never thought I would get here... and now that I'm here I can’t believe how much farther I can go.

Thank you...

update

2008-07-28T17:19:05Z

David and i have been apartment/house hunting. I guess at this point were hoping to make an investment before we move.

In any case its ridiculously exciting and thankfully we have very similar tastes so there haven't been any love hate battles just yet...

Things are going really well, with the exception of a one week brain vacation.. thanks for those who helped!

We are headed on our real vacation end of this week... He finally gets his B-day present... and i get to push him out of a plane!

Well i have to run back to work, just a quick update

Meetings to come shorty for my research project. Hopefully i can find funding before the start of the Fall semester.

Fuck yea !

2008-07-25T01:40:30Z

http://buffalo.craigslist.org/apa/766834986.html

faithshapedhole @ 2008-07-16T16:37:00

2008-07-16T20:38:07Z

Zoo pics up ...July 4th pics to come

WOOT

2008-07-14T03:16:29Z

Best Weekend Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spur of the moment trips heh

We woke up early Sat. and went to the Zoo which was Tons of fun! plus i got some excellent pics hehe, followed by some damn good margaritas and a good lunch. Sadly my apart. was like 90+ so we went to the movies and saw Wall-E(now my new fave movie btw) it was a lot of fun.. i felt more moved by the romanbce of 2 robots than i have any fleshy romantic comedy heh then we went out to my Fave sushi place for dinner came home and ya know... "relaxed" :)

Today we woke up a lil later had some fun and some good breakfast and randomly decided to go visit the Falls... I got to see more than i have before, went on maid of the mist, walked around Canada a bit and came home to a relaxing evening.

I am ecstatically happy

Oh, It seems plans may have changed So it looks like David and I are moving in together in Oct. which were both really excited about !

I love being able to have non stop happy posts....

This is what i have been waiting for :)

faithshapedhole @ 2008-07-09T20:06:00

2008-07-10T00:06:26Z

been to busy to post

so just an FYI

LIFE IS PERFECT

faithshapedhole @ 2008-07-02T19:59:00

2008-07-03T00:06:20Z

I have been in a perpetual state of somewhat constant stress this week Yarrrr

The apartment worse than its ever been.... and most of you know how wonderful i am at cleaning, I get home from my night class and I am lucky if i feel like showering let alone working on cleaning.

I'm doing fine this summer semester, so at least classes are of somewhat less concern work wise... but having this schedule is taking its toll on my patience, For some reason being this stressed makes everything feel like its a slight. Like the all the little things that go wrong sorta jumble up on me.

Being this stressed and Davidless hasn't been so great.

For the 4th we are supposed to go camping this weekend... i just dont think i am going to make it though. Seems like a poor time for a 4 hour train ride and walking away from the only free time i get from classes. Which sucks...

On a lighter note i aced my first Bio exam, which is certainly a first for me... Sadly this is as much celebrating as i get ... so Woo Hoo LJ lol

I also got a bad infection, thats been giving me fevers on and off.. not a fan of that either,,,

le sigh

i just want to go to bed :(

i need a break... more than 3 days

/phew

2008-06-27T17:50:31Z

Ok, so i have not had much time to post lately. My 1st summer session was completed, A's in both classes YAY!, but this 2nd session is just ridiculous. The work isnt particularly difficult but the time spent is awful

Faith's Day

7am- wake up

8am-1pm- 2 classes

1pm-5pm- Work

5pm-8pm Class

8pm+ - stress, eat, sleep, rinse ,repeat

Bllllaaarrrgggg... anyway it really isn’t so bad unless i cant find something to wear in the morning heh

Anyway... i pose a question, When did i become a perfectionist? I have been getting very upset lately by my group (in a swk course) I sent out an email to everyone, delegated the work set deadlines etc etc... when the heck did i become this person? I have been a note taker for SD this past semester, and i even enjoy it... even been thinking about doing tutoring again?

Oh Noes... I think i am starting to like school AHHhhhhhh

.........................................................................................

David is going away to CT to visit his Mistress Doug. lmao... doug, anyway

Cylce get together/ work extravaganza

I dont want him to go though... i have become very spoiled and the idea of not getting nightly snuggles or my morning toss our of bed is sad.

plus he is totally going to leave with out helping me clean the apartment hehe i know it!

lol

ok well back to work

AWESOME

2008-06-27T13:58:19Z

faithshapedhole @ 2008-06-20T20:36:00

2008-06-21T00:38:01Z

Emergency trip to Long Island, moms in the hospital :(

She was so happy to see Dave and I

the house looks so different to me , its cute they have pics of david and in the guest bedroom.

They really like him :) and i cant believe how lucky i am that he dropped everything to drive me out here

Bandits !

2008-06-18T18:34:15Z

David is the Burrito Bandito !

.... Apparently i have been having dreams involving Dave stealing from me.... But he is always stealing my Mexican food....

lmao... i have now twice hit him in the middle of the night for taking my taco or Burrito

I would feel worse if it wasnt so damn funny

( at least the other night you stole the pillows too, so it was slightly justified )

Ok i have to stop procrastinating

- Burrito Bandita out

faithshapedhole @ 2008-06-18T14:22:00

2008-06-18T18:22:39Z

To all Ya'll that wear fanny Packs ....

and pony tails!

faithshapedhole @ 2008-06-16T17:39:00

2008-06-16T21:40:47Z

Migraines suck :(

... Dave took care of me all day

going canoing next weekend

... How did i get so lucky?

faithshapedhole @ 2008-06-14T23:01:00

2008-06-15T03:10:08Z

Letchworth was BEAUTIFUL ! I took a ton of pics (thanks to scott letting me use his camera)

I have been getting migraines again lately, i think its my glasses. Anyway had to skip out on dinner tonight after the movie...

Oh We saw "THE FALL" @ The Little... it's nice to not be restricted from going places heh

Amazing movie (i am in love with the guy from pushing daisies)

anyway, Dave stayed home and took care of me...

(sappy moment)

I have never felt so loved, or more appreciated in my life, We kissed in the rain out at the view of the falls... it was the most romantic moment ever! I seriously must be the luckiest women in the world...

(sappy moment complete)

SHITE!!!!!! i forgot to call dave#2.....

nobody is perfect right?

Oh... btw my posts are going to go back to being all locked. My email address got put out on something at work... and i dont want to have this blog traced back to me.... esp not the older posts. So if you need me to give you access just let me know, i will add whoever wants to be.

kk time for nip nap

:)

faithshapedhole @ 2008-06-13T10:05:00

2008-06-13T14:05:28Z

Just my luck moment:

DAVID!.... You have my license !!

/crap lol

and that sums it up i think

2008-06-13T13:43:15Z

First off Exciting day for David. He is installing Cycle's software @ RIT (where he grad.) So congrats baby!!!! I am very proud and I will be driving to Le Rochester in a bit heh. Stupid distractions i can never seem to get away heh

I am hoping we are still going to letchworth this weekend hiking sounds fun!

Weird morning so far though. Had Faith Dreams last night... they are always way to realistic for my liking. Anyway I spoke to Adam for the first time in a long time in this dream, then when i woke up I had an invite through gmail from him. Just a fluke mistake, but it was odd. Anyway, the conicidance was really yhe only strange part, though I did finally get to tell him i was happy for him through a less anonymous route, which made me feel good :)

Other weird moment.. waking up to a dave free bed... He had to wake up before me today...not used to that heh

As long as he isn't in the bathroom when i need it all is well though lol

Another Thur. Cubed last night, band was ok. We got to meet mel's b/f...Interesting guy! Though the pendants he makes are pretty sweet it be fun to go to his studio, get to see the ren fairs glass blowing exhibit a lil closer.

So my summer is getting really full

MY BROTHER IS A DR ! heh all done and now (since he is no longer a student and lost his grant) Jobless and ready to pay back loans lol, i dont envy big brother

But... He managed to shake some time loose, so Dave and i will be heading out to Ohio soon to visit, and go with Bri too Cedar Point Woo Hoo!!!

David and I are going skydiving The first week in August !!! He said it wont hit him till we are jumping... it wont really hit him though till i push him out mwahahaha

in sooner events theres umm HOMEWORK !

and this upcoming weekend we are a lil torn... Got invited to go Rock Climbing with his brother... but have plans with Davids parents in Albany... Chris also is going home that weekend for a party so..yea we will see what happens...

We have been trying to plan a rock climbing trip as well, so it seems oth will get done soon enough.

ok i should get going.

Just a fun start to the day , i love not having to wake up early on Fridays hehe

oh wish me luck i am going for another scholarship ! this ones for jew monies hehe

And i am off

<3

Oh...

Just for DB: MOO !!!!! A pineapple says what? (cheer up!)

faithshapedhole @ 2008-06-09T07:32:00

2008-06-09T11:50:40Z

Dave's party was a success, though 5 hours of Dave singing on rock band has led to some rumors he is possibly related to David Lee Roth... but i promise these are all false allegations ! I Have seen him in tight blue long johns and there is no resemblance hehehe

The sangria was amazing, though I had one of my Faith is immune to drinking nights so after the equivalent of 8 beers ( 4 tall glasses of sangria ) and 4 shots.... I was sadly still ridiculously sober and without buzz, i blame stress.

Anyway party was still tons of fun, and thank you to everyone who contributed to the push Dave out of a plane fund! We will be going skydiving Early July!

We are planning a nice hiking/eating/stuff trip to Letchworth this weekend which will be fun as well.

/yawn didn't get any sleep last night nor the day before, I don't want to goto class...

what else... Ahhhh heading to Albany to look at SUNY Albany party with chris' cousins, have B-day dinner with Daves parents and meet up with Mike and Tunda on the 20th... Having tunda there means there will be dancing, so if theres any truth at all to daves star relations i will know for sure soon enough... thouhg having seen him dance at the wedding i am certain to disprove it heh.

As for other trips... There is the (awww Daves making me breakfast... yay... I R sleeepy) sorry...side tracked oh ok, there is the big Camping trip in Aug. D and I are going on vacation soon as well (and school hunting) in Boston MA. I have decided to take a year off after i am done with my BS. It just seems like it be too difficult/expensive and stressfull to grad in May and be able to move to where the grad program is have found anew job and start classes all in 2 weeks. So taking a year off i plan on getting a job (i have some good leads already all of which are willing to pay for my masters degree woo hoo!) and getting a better idea of where i want to concentrate my degree. I have some good ideas now, but being in the field may certainly change that. Also having the GPA i do i am not exactly worried about not getting accepted wherever i want to go. So D and I have been talking about moving to MA, since i am taking a year off i would have residency if i moved allowing in state costs... I have always wanted to move to MA and eventually Boston, and it seems I am closer than ever!

Mmmmm cream cheese and jelly he knows me well

ok i need to head to class

/yawn

I am certain i had more i wanted to say... i will think of it later

-F

SPASM

2008-06-07T03:47:32Z

ZOMG been busy....

Quick Summary

ummm work

A+ in both classes WooT

Might be moving to MA !

Nirvana in the rain hehe

Best night ever !

Madly In Love !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Worst gas bill evah

ROCK BAND

New friend Mel is "26 and like way hot" (bad inside joke)

Hmmmm Oh, Cool glass blower dude !

Thur in the cube was AWESOME !!!!! band from LI i used to see live all the time played ended in thunder storm and pouring rain as Lithium ended the show

went to panos soaking wet and mentioned nirvana she responded OMG Nirvana was there ?

/i am snob

ok sorry for the spastic post shit load of work to finish before D's party

Mmmmm Sangria

ok <3 everyone

OH my cell phone is gone or off or somewhere else... if you dont email e you wont get a response so no more snippy messages

Hmm Oh... been playing tennis ( I have an awesome serve...too bad thats all)

Took david roller blading hhehehe SOoooooo cute... though catching him when he falls SUCKED

ok thats all for now... more drinking/working/drumming

Peace !

In the right direction

2008-05-30T21:02:13Z

Classes are moving along so fast, its amazing but my midterm is the upcoming weekend... The day of Dave's party heh. Luckily I have two of my fave teachers so it keeps the classes interesting. I really feel like i am getting a lot of these classes and so far I have been able to get work done much earlier than needed keeping myself afloat.

I had a meeting with Gail Daniels today. I am going to be doing some work for SUNY research foundations Grant writing team. Huge bonus for me, as well as an a great resume builder. ALSO ( and i am THRILLLLLED about this) She has offered me another possible internship with CDHS under her, at the Bacon hall office working with their mini grant/ research programs. This would be so perfect for me i cant express, not to mention a LARGE step forward from my current placement with their registration dept. It's really great to have someone tell you it seems like your an over achiever and that you come well recommended. I may have had help in the initial contact, but i have certainly taken this above and beyond what they expected to get out of me!

(My inner jerk simply would like to say... " You should have expected more from me, because you never saw what I could do")

I just feel like I am doing everything right lately. Stress is maintainable and all is simply amazing in Faith land. I have wanted to wake up and feel like this for so long, and it gets better every day. (expect when Dave wakes me up from a nap heh then i am a grumpy bastard)

ok well back to paper writing!

Oh, right... David has a desk now ! After 2 days of building and blisters my apartment has a new addition. Heh his desk is nicer than mine actually. It is a bit bigger than at first wanted...but i couldn't say no ... you should have seen the look on his face. There are some very cute Dave the Builder pics to come though!

kk now back to writing

Yay Fire

2008-05-26T17:12:32Z

Awesome bbq weekend. (almost had a lil indi jones face meting) and on that note I got to go see Indiana Jones... and for those that have not heard the story..which most of you have....

I had an itch on my upper leg mid way through the film... We are in dark theater so i figure theres no harm in reaching down to itch it... Sadly for me my ring gets stuck on my underwear. So here I am sitting next to David trying to unhook my ring from my panties... of course after having been blabbing for days about how sexy Harrison Ford is (even at 60) so of course it just looks awful... Anyway i got my ring unstuck but Dave still doesn't believe nor anyone else who hears the story that there wasn't more going on heh.

I also realized that night though we have been dating for few months this was the first movie him and i had seen together alone. Since ost movies we see have been on the weekends we tend to go with a group. So i tried to play up the whole joking first date scenario... plying hard to get after more or less living together for a bit is difficult. It failed when we got to my door and i shyly invited him in for some "coffee"... and i realized i left my keys inside and he had to open the door for me with his :(.... kinda runied the whole first time effect, but pretty funny.

which takes us to the weekend of BBQ... first one at Dans then another last night @ Carl and Aubreys... YUM I even made a hot dog on our Ubah fire... and almost melted my face in doing so. Pics to come ! (not of the face melting) My hair still smells like a camp site though... which is a rather nice scent really. We are planin big camping trip for Aug. so i look forward to more chris and carl arguing over how to build a fire.

So classes start tomorrow... I started some of my work already so i am at least ahead. My stress is already sorta hitting me only 16 class days and a semesters worth of work. Although having someone I love to come home to seems to make it a lot more bearable. He evens me out. He is the neutralizer to me chemical burn awwwww. (almost done with my 4th book by Chuck hehe, Fight club is still last on the list)

Ok... that about sums it up for now

I am getting a lil bit of head cold which sucks...

OH someone settle a debate....

Do cucumbers make you Burp?

Later

faithshapedhole @ 2008-05-23T00:32:00

2008-05-23T04:33:10Z

I AM HAPPY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Words not good enough

2008-05-20T05:00:36Z

:)

The wedding was perfection. Spending time with Dave's family and co-workers went extremely well. Heh, I admit Holidays, events any special occasion usually ends in disaster for me so having everything go so splendidly was an overwhelmingly good feeling.

The weather (expect the day of the wedding) was perfectly sunny and warm. I got to go sailing for the first time on an amazing boat! (even got to meet the captain waiting in line for the public restrooms lol) We stayed at this gorgeous house his parents rented (i sadly didnt take many pics) with a kitchen to die for lol. Chris would have been proud i examined all the hard wood floors carefully :)

The wedding was at Castle Hill inn RI (http://www.castlehillinn.com/Photo_Gallery/Views_Gallery/#)

I was happy to have Mike and Tunda there as well so soften the blow of meeting so many new faces at once... but after Jeff(the trouble maker) brought up my wow playing his co workers deff became more comfortable to chat with... humorously enough i talked more gaming than david did with them... and might be playing TF2 soon enough heh. Both after parties were fun ( i am awesome at rock band lol) but mostly it was just a beautiful week of both scenery and company.

After several family hints asking when my wedding will be I deff felt accepted by Le Watrous Family... and David and i even got mistaken for the Bride and groom at the rehearsal dinner.

I will add pics as soon as they are up...

on a serious note (back in Buffalo) Classes are starting back up for me next week. 2 months of hell, but it will be well worth it, and thankfully i have a great tutor. We are finally putting a second desk in the apartment for Dave. I suppose working off my coffee table or in bed for the last 4 months has been less than productive.

Mmmm i am craving wedding food, it was the first time i had clams (Yum!)

ok, well i should head to bed...

(for David)

Thank you ! For every reason you know and the ones you don't you make me so feel so lucky